


We Survive

by AceFiveDeltaBlue



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Female Runner Five, Fluff and Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert, implied bisexuality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 05:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4250934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceFiveDeltaBlue/pseuds/AceFiveDeltaBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Runner Five struggles with her past and the losses she has faced, but finds solace in her new friends and learns to move on. Fluff and Angst run rampant. Established relationship with Sam as of ch. 4. In my version, everyone is Bi/Pan. Minor spoilers for season 1 and the 5k training.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first fic on this website and for Zombies, Run! Wendy is my own original character. Everyone else is part of the canon. Hope you enjoy!

“Runner Five! Do it! Don’t let me turn into a zom. Let me die a human! What are you waiting for, Five? Shoot me!”

  
Breathing heavily and with a shaky hand, you point your gun (the emergency one the Major gave you for this particularly dangerous mission) toward the head of Runner Eleven . Your best friend. Looking into her eyes, yours blurry with tears, you see her eyes cloud over as the zombie transformation enters its last stages. It is now or never. You aim, close your eyes, and-

  
You are violently pulled from your flashback as your body smacks into the ground. You had been too preoccupied with your daily recurring nightmare to notice the small hole in the ground that you had just tripped into. You tried to get up, but your ankle had other plans. You fall back down and cry out in pain. You look behind you to see a horde of zoms not 30 feet back. You didn’t have much time.

  
Runner Seven was ahead of you but he heard you scream out. He turned back to help you, and despite your cries of “No, Runner Seven, save yourself!” he flings you over his massive shoulders and starts running like hell.

Your com system had gone to static after you fell, but a few moments later, some clear messages came through. All were from a panicked Sam, asking what the hell was going on and if you were alright. After a few frantic messages, you finally answer back “I’m fine, but I swear to God, Sam, if you are not at that gate when I get back I will find you and you most definitely will not be fine when I do.” Sam gave a relieved sigh.

“There’s the Runner Five I know, although I am quite terrified of what you have planned for me at the gate”

  
“Just be there. Were almost back.”

  
About half a mile from the gate, Runner Seven asked how your ankle was. “Don’t worry about me” you replied, “just run.”

  
“We’re almost to the gate, Runner Five” Runner Seven said a few minutes later, “And you must have put the fear of God into poor Sam because he is shaking like a Chihuahua over there. What are you gonna do to him?”

  
“Something I should have done weeks ago”

  
You enter the gate still on Runner Seven’s shoulders. Dr. Myers, Sara and a few others are gathered around, waiting to take you into the med wing. Sam is staring at you with a look of concern, for both you and himself equally. Seven let you down gently to see if you could hobble on your own. You only took about two steps before your ankle gave out and you started to fall.

Sam was by your side in a split second and caught you. You looked at him, adrenaline from the mission and the flashback still searing through you.  
Sam chuckled “Is this why you wanted me here at the gate?”

  
“No” you breathed. “This is.” Before he could react, you pulled his face down to yours and crushed your mouth to his desperately. Sam adjusted the two of you so you were in a more comfortable position and grabbed the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. You could feel a shiver run through Sam’s back, causing your own breath to falter.  
When he finally broke away for air, Sam panted “God, Runner Five, how long have you been waiting on that one?”

  
“Too long, apparently.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sara slip something to Dr. Myers. After realizing it was money, you turned to them, balancing on your good foot and using Sam, arms still firmly around your waist, for support.

  
“Did you two have a bet on whether we would kiss?!”

  
“Not on whether or not you would, but on who would initiate” Sara clarified. “I thought it would be Sam, but I underestimated you it seems”

"Wouldn't be the first time" You retorted. 

"Nor the last, 'm afraid," Sara apologized. "As you know, it takes a lot for me to trust someone."

  
“C’mon, Five, we have to get you to the med wing” Dr. Myers said, reaching out to take you.

  
“No, I’ll take her” Sam interjected while lifting you up into his arms. You let out a surprised squeal, but let him carry you to the med unit. He was surprisingly strong.

Suddenly realizing just how exhausted you were, you contented yourself to leaning into Sam’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, reminding you that life here on the base is precious. You let your thoughts shift to Runner Eleven , what you had been forced to do…no, listen to Sam you reminded yourself *thu-thump**thu-thump**thu-thump*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “Hey, Runner Five! Oh, that? That’s nothing. I just…fell…in a tangle of cords. In the radio room. Which sounds a lot less impressive now that I'm saying it out loud.” 
> 
> “Did I ever tell you the story of Wendy and me?” 
> 
> "Stay with me."


	2. The Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runner Five recovers and gets some alone time with Sam. Angst and general sadness ensues. Some fluffy stuff and Sam is a total dork as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "What are you waiting for, Five? Shoot me!”
> 
> "What are you gonna do to him?”  
> “Something I should have done weeks ago”

It turns out your ankle had been shattered. Some of the smaller bones had started to grow back incorrectly, so Dr. Myers would have to re-break them in order to set them right.

“You’re going to want to be under for this” She advised in a tone that made you know this would hurt like a bitch if you weren’t knocked out. As the anesthesia started to kick in, you saw Sam enter the room, taking your hand. With the waning consciousness, you lifted your other hand up to slap him, but missed in your drugged state and instead made forceful contact with his shoulder.

“That was for not watching the God damnned scanners. Keep your eyes on the board, not on me. Horde of zoms came out of nowhere, my ass.” Sam chuckled at your incoherent babbling.

“Sorry Five, you know how I get distracted. Won’t happen again.” He stood up, went to the door and started whispering to Runner Seven. “Thank you…for bringing her back to me. She means the world to me. I couldn’t go through that again, not after-“

“I know. None of us can afford to lose her now. We all love her too damn much.” Was the last thing you heard before going to sleep.

***

When you wake up, you had been moved to another part of the hospital. Most likely the recovery room based on the surroundings. You sit up and try to move your foot. It is in a cast, but you can move your leg with minimal pain. You probably still had a lot of painkillers going through you as well. You look around the plain room to see an ocean of empty beds, something the med crew always likes to see. That means that nobody (besides yourself) is critically injured and everyone can work. Your eyes peer towards one bed next to the door that seemed to have some sort of lump in it. Oh, you thought, someone else must be here after all. You get out of bed and hobble on the crutches placed beside your bed to see who it was. You can’t say you were completely shocked to see Sam. His arm was in a cast and he was just waking up.

“Hey, Runner Five!” He slurred groggily. He saw you staring quizzically at his arm. “Oh, that? That’s nothing. I just…fell…in a tangle of cords. In the radio room. Which sounds a lot less impressive now that im saying it out loud.” He babbled on. You laughed. What. A. Dork.

“You gotta be more careful, babe.” You offered.

“Babe? One kiss and we already have pet names? I like where this is going, Five.” He teased.

“Shut up, Sam. You know I call everyone Babe.” He winked at you. You rolled your eyes. “Well it looks like we’re both going to be trapped here for a while. What is there to do?”

You had a few visitors checking in on you throughout the day. Mostly runners coming in to make sure you were okay. By nightfall, you had pushed your beds closer to one another so you could stay up and talk, like children at a sleepover. Sadly, Dr. Myers shut down that idea saying that you needed rest, but still allowed you two to sleep next to each other. You talked for only a little while-camp gossip and Sam’s nerdy things that he loves- before trying to get some sleep. You turned away from him, but you could still feel his eyes on you from his bed. You had been lucky enough to have had plenty of distractions the past few weeks, but now it was just you alone with your thoughts and the person you trusted more than anyone. For the first time since it happened, you allowed yourself to mourn your best friend, Runner Eleven . You tried to cry quietly, but Sam couldn’t help but see you shake as you tried to keep it inside.

“Five, are you alright?” Sam timidly asked you. You took a steadying breath and rolled over.

“I’ll be okay.” Your puffy red eyes were not convincing him at all.

“Hey now, don’t cry. What’s wrong?” Sam asked as he sat up and threw his legs over the side of his bed.

“Her name was Wendy.” You choked out, openly crying by this point.

“Who was-oh, Runner Eleven . I’m so sorry, Runner Five. I know you were close.” Something about the look in your face compelled him to climb into your bed with you and wrap his arms around you, holding you close. Not that you minded, of course. It felt good to hold someone.

“Did I ever tell you the story of Wendy and me?” Sam looked at you, urging you to go on. “We met the first day of third grade. We had to pair up for an activity and draw each other’s outlines on a big piece of paper. Then we got to fill the outlines with everything that we loved. I filled mine with the color blue and chocolates and a picture of my dog, Toby. God, I loved that dog. Wendy filled her outline with pictures of her dad and drew a boat out on a lake. Her dad took her fishing every summer on that lake. They took me once too, after we finished 6th grade. It was the best summer I’ve ever had. We were inseparable ever since that first day. We did everything together: we were on the volleyball team together, we went to prom together, we graduated side-by-side, we enlisted for the draft on the same day. She got called for duty and I didn’t. Saying goodbye to her, knowing that I may never see her again was the hardest thing I ever had to do. The outbreak happened while she was deployed. I had no contact with her so I had no idea if she was safe or not. God, that was the worst part, not knowing. Then my helicopter crashes and I end up here, exactly where she was. Fate is a funny thing, isn’t it? I truly believe fate brought us back together.” You paused. Sam was still listening intently, waiting for you to finish. “If fate brought us back together, then was I always destined to kill her? Was that fate, or was that some twisted, cosmic joke that was a byproduct of the god damn apocalypse?” You took a steadying breath before going on. “I could have saved her. If we would have brought her back in time, I-”

“Five, stop that now. You know that once you are bit, nothing can help. You can’t keep feeling guilty over something was not your fault. You did Runner-, Wendy a kindness that not many here are brave enough to do. You saved her in a way I wish I could have saved Alice. I can’t let myself feel bad for that anymore, I have too many things, too many people _now_ that I have to protect. What’s past is past and while it may hurt like hell, there’s nothing to be done about it now. We move on. We _survive_. For them. If we don’t have anyone left to fight for, what is the point in fighting at all?”

You buried your head in Sam’s chest to block him from seeing your tears, but your shaking hands and body gave you away once more. You didn’t mean to bring up Alice. You didn’t want him to hurt again the way you were hurting, but it was oddly comforting to know someone was going through the same thing as you.

“You need to sleep, Runner Five. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow. As soon as you are released, I’m going to put you to work in the radio tower until you can run again!” He said with a small smile as he turned away to go back to his own bed. You caught his arm before he could get any farther.

“Wait. Stay with me.”

“Of course. I won’t go anywhere, Five. I’m here.” You slept peacefully and nightmare-free for the first time in what seemed like forever just listening to Sam’s breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “GUYS, A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE RIGHT NOW!” 
> 
> “Sara, listen carefully. Run toward the river.”


	3. The River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being unable to run, you help Sam out in the radio tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "We move on. We survive. For them. If we don’t have anyone left to fight for, what is the point in fighting at all?”
> 
> “Wait. Stay with me.”

In the morning, you woke up to a small commotion in the med wing. A nurse must have dropped a tray in another room. You looked over at Sam who was still fast asleep, the protective hold he held you in last night replaced with him sprawled out as much as he could be on the tiny bed, his cast hand dragging to the floor, the other still under your waist. There was an extra thick blanket over the two of you that was not there last night. Dr. Myers must have done rounds late last night. Well, that’s going to be awkward to explain how you weren’t sleeping together (not in the way she thinks at least).

Since you were out of commission for at least a month and Sam really needed two hands for his own job, you were tasked with helping him run things in the radio unit. Sara and Dr. Myers teased you two constantly about having quite a lot of alone time up in the tower. To be honest, there were many opportunities for things of that nature to happen (A lot of opportunities) but you were both trying to be at least semi professional while at work. And to put it bluntly, casts aren’t the sexiest thing around. They tend to get in the way, as Sam quickly discovered as he knocked over a coffee cup.

“Aw, damn. At least it was a cup and not me this time.” You chuckled at his frustration, grabbing a rag to clean the mess. As you tossed the rag into the laundry bin in the corner of the room, the screen lit up as a pack of zoms raced toward the runners. They were coming in at all sides except the east. That was their only way out.

Sam relayed the information to Sara, who was caught in the middle. “But if we go east, we will hit the river, then what?” Sara huffed. Sam looked to you for help. He only knew the area through maps and ground cams. You have been on that trail several times. Getting caught in between the river and a pack of zoms was not the most ideal situation. Your brain was working a mile a minute to try to find a solution.

“GUYS, A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE RIGHT NOW!” Sara panicked as the zoms got closer.

“I got it!” you exclaimed. “Sam, can zombies swim?”

“No, they can’t. Runner Five, I hope you aren’t suggesting that Sara swim with her headset. The major will kill us if we ruin another one!”

“No. She’s not swimming, the zombies are.” You turned you attention to the audio transmitter.

“Sara, listen carefully. Run toward the river.”

“WHAT?”

“Just trust me. You need to give yourself some time to set up a distraction, so you need to outrun them now.” Without question, Sara booked it toward the river. Based on her position and the speed of the zoms behind her, she had about twenty seconds to create a diversion.

You had a plan that would take ten.

“Sara, listen to me. When you get to the bank of the river, there is a low-hanging tree to your right, climb up it and into the taller tree next to it.” You watched on camera as Sara flung herself onto the branches and nearly flew into the adjacent tree. “Now, take your noise maker and set it on high.” Sara complied. The zoms heard the noise and started rushing toward the lower tree in an attempt to get at the noise. “Now throw it into the river, Sara.” She was more than happy to. As she flung the noisemaker into the water, the zoms changed direction and started herding themselves into the rushing water, being swept away as they did.

“Holy shit, Five, this is working” Sam looked at you incredulously. Once all the zoms had been swept away, Sara let out the breath she had been holding.

“Runner Five, I could kiss you right now” she sighed.

“I would let you” you quipped back.

“Don’t let your boyfriend know” she flirted.

“Oi! Hey, I’m right here!” Sam protested.

“Ah, so he is your boyfriend! I’m getting my $20 back!”

“Ye- I mean no, I mean…stop making bets about our relationship!” you stammered, turning red.

“Let’s just focus on getting you home safe, Runner Eight” Sam butted in, diffusing the tension. “You should be clear for a mile or so if you avoid the path around the old hospital.

“Copy that, Romeo” You and Sam both rolled your eyes simultaneously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “You know, I could be, if you wanted.” 
> 
> "This isn’t about what happened to Alice and me. This is about us preventing it from happening to anyone else ever again."


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runner Five and Sam talk about things over a game of cards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “Just trust me. You need to outrun them now.”
> 
> “Runner Five, I could kiss you right now”   
> “I would let you”

After getting Runner Eight home, you and Sam had some downtime, so you decided to play with the deck of cards you had snagged on an entertainment run.

You sat on the floor and played and talked for a while, enjoying a nice break before another set of runners went out. After beating him at multiple hands, Sam spoke up.

“You know, I could be, if you wanted.” He said nervously.

“What are you talking about?”

“Runner Eight asked if I was your boyfriend. I mean, we don’t have to put a label on it, or do anything about it at all, but I know that you feel something too. I don’t know if it is the same thing that I am feeling, but I hope it is because there’s not a whole lot left for me in this world, and you…just you being here gives me something to believe in, even if just for a moment. Makes me think that we’re gonna be ok. That this isn’t all pointless. What I’m trying to say, Runner Five, is-”

You silenced his rambling with a finger to his lips.

“It’s ok. You don’t have to say it. I know. I feel it too.” Sam’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “But,” Sam’s face fell again, “I don’t want what happened with you and Alice to happen to us. I couldn’t put you through that again if something were to happen to me. I care about you too much to make you go through that alone.” You smoothed the tips of your fingers over his jaw, trying to get him to look up at you. He had an unreadable expression on his face, but his eyes told a different story.

“You think I don’t think about that every time I have to send you out? That I don’t play in my mind with the possibility of losing you and having to see it on the cameras? It’s already too late. Label or not, I’m already too deep into this…this thing we have to not have an attachment to you. This isn’t about what happened to Alice and me. This is about us preventing it from happening to anyone else ever again. I think after the events of the last few weeks, you would understand that more than most people here, wouldn’t you?”

You knew he was right, but you still couldn’t look him in the eye. If the tone in his voice was any indication of the look on his face…you couldn’t stand to see him in that much pain over anything, much less the thought of losing yet another person he loved. To avoid looking at him, you brought him in for a tight hug.

“I love you, Sam Yao. So goddamn much.” You whispered.

“I know. I love you too.” He answered and kissed the top of your head. “C’mon, we have to go get the other runners ready” He handed you the mic. “You want to lead this time?”

You smiled, put on the headset and said “Raising the gates. Runners…GO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “Happy birthday, Runner Five.”


	5. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year after your arrival, the base throws a party in your honor. Well...they throw a party at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “I love you, Sam Yao. So goddamn much.” 
> 
> “I know. I love you too.”

It had been 1 year since your arrival at Abel and for some reason, everyone, even Sam, had been avoiding you today. Of course, it was hard to entirely avoid Sam since you lived together in the side room in the radio base. The camp was getting crowded and not expanding fast enough, so some had to double up and share rooms. You were more than happy to oblige, not to anyone’s surprise. You and Sam had become quite the topic of conversation around Abel (and the subject of even more bets). 

Later on that night, after all the Runners (including yourself, since you had been back on duty for a few weeks now) had come home, you stepped into the mess hall to get dinner. It was empty. Why was it empty? You began to panic. The mess hall is never empty at dinnertime. Had something happened? Where was everyone? Just as you were about to turn around and search the rest of camp, everyone jumped out of door and from behind walls and yelled “Surprise!” You jumped back and had to hold yourself against the door to keep from falling over. It seemed the entire camp was here. But why? Then Sam ran up to you, kissed you, and said “Happy birthday, Runner Five.”

It wasn’t your birthday.

“Sam, its not-”

You were interrupted by Sara. “Its not often that we get an excuse to throw a party. We need something to lighten up the mood around here sometimes.”

You couldn’t tell them its not your birthday now. You couldn’t break their hearts. 

Dr. Myers brought out some extra rations from the kitchen and gave them to you. “We obviously couldn’t get a real cake” she apologized, “but we did get an extra pack of rations on the last run. Well, you picked them up, but still. The sentiment is there.”

You chuckled. “Thanks you guys. I love it.”

It was nice to have a night of to relax, dance and chat with the town’s residents. The mood in the mess hall couldn’t be brighter. You got the feeling that they also knew it wasn’t your birthday. Morale had been low recently, so you think your friends decided to use the anniversary of you landing at Abel as an excuse to throw a party. 

After the party had died down and most people had gone to bed, you and Sam decided to turn in for the night as well. As you were getting ready for bed, you heard Sam drop something in the bedroom. 

“Aw, damn” He muttered to himself. You poked your head out from around the corner.

“You ok, babe?”

“Yeah, I just…oh well. No point in keeping it a secret from you now. Come here.” You saw that the thing that he had dropped was a box.

You walked over to him and sat on the bed. He sat down next to you and handed you the box. 

“Now, I know its not really your birthday” he started , “But it just seemed right to get you a little something considering the occasion.” He smiled, urging you to open it.

You opened the box and couldn’t help but smile. Inside was a backpack that had “Runner 5” written on the top flap. Inside one of the side pockets was a chocolate bar and a blue sports bra. He had remembered your favorite food and color from the story you told him. You took out the bra to see that a “5” had been painted on the front. 

“I’d rather not tell you how I got the backpack. It’s a…long story. Ask Dr. Myers if you really must know. I hope the bra is the right size and all, I didn’t want to just bluntly ask you what your bra size was, I mean, I didn’t want to be that guy and-” You silenced his rambling once more with a kiss. 

“I love it. I love you.” You kissed him again. 

“I love you too. C’mon, lets get some sleep. Busy day tomorrow.”

You fell asleep, once again, listening to Sam’s breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> You had to find Sam. Now. 
> 
> “She would have liked you, you know. I think you two would have made a good running pair. Maybe even had been good friends.”


	6. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Runner Five finds out the secret behind Sam's gift. They share tales about life and relationships before the end of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “Happy birthday, Runner Five.”
> 
> You opened the box and couldn’t help but smile. Inside was a backpack that had “Runner 5” written on the top flap.

The next day, you and Dr. Myers were sitting together eating breakfast. After a while, she asked you “So, did Sam give you your gift last night?”

“Um, yeah. I loved it.” You replied.

“Did he tell you about the backpack?” she pressed.

“No. He didn’t want to talk about it. He said to ask you.”

Dr. Myers looked down at her food and then back to you. “I thought he wouldn’t want to talk about it, it still being so soon.”

“So soon after-oh!” you gasped. The backpack, the chocolate, the bra. 

They were all hers. The old Runner Five.

You put your face in your hands “Oh, God, Sam!”

“No no no, its ok. He knew that Alice would have wanted them to go to another runner. He can’t use them, and he said himself that its time to move on.”

You had to find Sam. Now. You ran around the camp until you found him talking to Runner Seven. You sprinted up behind him and hugged him from behind as tightly as you could, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing the air out of him. 

“I’ll…leave you two alone” said Runner Seven, walking back toward the mess hall. 

Sam turned around and returned the hug. “Hello, Runner Five. Feeling affectionate this morning?”

You pulled away and looked deeply into his eyes. “Thank you.” You said pointedly and with purpose. He knew exactly what you meant.

“She would have liked you, you know. I think you two would have made a good running pair. Maybe even had been good friends.”

***

You were still out of commission and it was starting to get to you. You had become accustomed to running nearly every day. It wasn’t so much the lack of exercise that had you in a funk, it was knowing that you were essentially useless to Abel until you got better. You were talking to Sam about it one day during dinner.

“I just haven’t run in so long, I’m going crazy being pent up without exercise” you whined to your captive audience. Sara, sitting with Dr. Myers and hearing only the last bit of your rant, turned from the table behind you.

“I know what you can do for exercise” Sara winked, looking between you and Sam. You choked on your water. 

“SHUT UP SARA” Sam yelped, as Sara and Jenine giggled. 

“You’re just mad because you’re not getting any, Sara.” I quipped back haughtily. 

This time, it was Sam who choked on his drink.

“Damn” Dr. Myers muttered under her breath, quite impressed. Sara turned back to her food without a word. 

“Do you really have to announce our personal lives to the whole camp? People talk enough as it is. There aren’t many couples on the base anymore.” Sam whispered into your ear, making sure this time that nobody else would hear them.

“Calm down, Sam. It’s not like we haven’t done anything that they haven’t already guessed about two weeks in advance. We are Abel celebrities in a way. They are more concerned with our lives than with their own. If you let them believe what they want to believe, then they are satisfied and left you alone.”

“Wow. That’s…that’s brilliant, Five. How did you come up with that theory?”

“I did theatre for a while back in college. Theatre junkies are a tight-knit group. Everyone knew everyone’s business and sometimes you had to make up stories to get people to leave you alone. I didn’t make out with nearly as many tech guys as people thought I did.”

“But you did make out with some?” Sam asked.

“One or two…or four. And a director. And the costume girl. She was nice.” Sam’s eyes went wide. 

“Oh, don’t act like you weren’t popular with the girls in college. I’m sure those engineering majors were drowning in women.”

“Not the engineering majors, but my time in the radio booth did prove to be quite…instructive.”

“Old habits die hard, I guess.” You smiled at him. 

“I guess they do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “Sam, SAM! Wake up!”
> 
> “Sam, please come back to me."


	7. The Memory Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has a PTSD dream. Not a light chapter, sorry. *IMPORTANT* triggers for PTSD and Anxiety. If you don't want to read this chapter but still want the plot, please skip to the bottom notes. I have given a trigger-free summary down there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "What’s past is past and while it may hurt like hell, there’s nothing to be done about it now. We move on. We survive. For them. If we don’t have anyone left to fight for, what is the point in fighting at all?”
> 
> “She would have liked you, you know."

That night, as you and Sam were getting ready for bed, Sam began humming a song to himself.

“What are you singing?” You asked him.

“Oh, nothing. Just a lullaby Alice used to sing while out on runs. Her mother sang it to her when she was a kid. I never understood the words, different language and all, but I picked up the tune. Did you know her mother was Nigerian? They have the most interesting lullabies. She would sing it to the kids here on base whenever they got scared, especially in the beginning. She sang it on the day that she-, just before the zom-”

“Sam, babe, it’s ok. Come here.” You wrapped him in your arms to try and calm him down. He didn’t say much after that, just slowly drifted off to sleep in your arms while you played with his hair.

***

You woke to the sound of terrified screaming. You jumped awake and tried to determine what was going on. A shift in the bed next to you gave you a clue. It was Sam that was thrashing and screaming. 

“Sam, SAM! Wake up!”

Sam screamed as he jolted awake, covered in sweat and hyperventilating. You could hear his heart beating. You turned on a light to help him reorient himself. 

“Sam, listen to me. Listen to my voice. You’re ok. It was just a dream. You’re here now. You’re here with me. It’s ok.” You held his hand gently and rubbed his palms, letting him calm down on his own. “Just breathe…that’s it. There you go.”

Sam’s breathing slowed. He gulped and then breathed some more. You sat in silence, waiting for him to come to you. You didn’t want to push him too far mentally right now. Eventually, he gulped again and whispered hoarsely “I’m so sorry Five. I never wanted you to see that.”

“Sam, don’t-”

“Blame myself?” He interrupted. “Yeah, I know, that’s what they keep telling me. ‘Don’t blame yourself, it wasn’t your fault’ ‘All we can do is move on, keep looking forward, survive’ and all that crap,” you cringed at his bitter use of the words he once used to encourage you, “I want to. I really do. I want to keep going, for her, for you, I just…God, you look so much like her…”

“Sam, shhh. I know how you feel. It’s ok to feel this way, it’s just the PTSD. You’ve been through so much. We all have. I’m so proud of you.” You kissed his forehead. 

“Can I…can I tell you about her?”

“If that will make you feel better, of course.”

“She was…absolutely amazing. She had such a bright personality and her smile lit up the room and she was so smart, smarter than me at least, and so gorgeous and her hair…god her hair was so soft. Even when there wasn’t shampoo on the base and we all had to rough it with water and regular soap for a while, even then her hair was perfect. She would always tie it up before she went out, then we would turn to the camera right by the gate, you know, the one right past the armory? Anyway, she would look right into the camera, knowing I was watching, and say to me ‘You be good, Sam. Don’t cause too much trouble while I’m gone.’ I would always laugh. I was so in love with her. She was the kind of girl that I would have taken back home to my parents, you know? Wow, if things were different, I probably would have gotten down on one knee then and there and- what am I doing? I’m so sorry, Five. You don’t want to hear about my ex, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no. It’s fine. I understand, Sam. You love me. But you were in love with her. There’s nothing wrong with that. She meant a lot to you and that’s going to take some time to recover from. Don’t rush into anything too soon. I love you. I’m staying here for as long as you need me. I will wait for you to be ready. No matter how long that takes. I’m not going anywhere. Literally. I still can’t run for at least another week.” You tried to crack a smile at the end of the sentence while rubbing his back softly. He looked up at you with a broken expression that tore you in two. 

“All these happy memories, and I only dream about one. I keep replaying it over and over. I watched her turn. On the cameras. I talked her through it, tried to calm her down, she was so scared-”

“Sam.”

“-and I couldn’t do anything to help her-”

“SAM.” He couldn’t hear you. He was too far into his own mind, now only talking to himself. You were nowhere in his sight. 

“She was so alone. She was out on a solo run. I told Janine it was a bad idea. But I saw her change. She was crying. I couldn’t cry on the coms. I had to be strong for her. I sat there and watched her die, helpless. I told her about sunny days and ice cream rolls and how much I loved her, anything to keep her mind off what was happening. She started to sing the lullaby to herself as she turned. The one her mother sang. I sang it with her. To tell her she wasn’t alone. I was here, I was here.” Sam repeated that until he was crying more than speaking. You couldn’t bear to see him like this. You had to bring him back to the present. 

“Sam, please come back to me. I’m here. Come back to me.” You wiped his tears from your face. The touch brought him back to the present, but when he looked into your eyes, you could tell he couldn’t see you. 

He saw her.

“Alice,” he cried, “Alice I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. I’m so sorry” he sobbed.

You were crying too now. You didn’t know how to help him. All you could do is hold him as he cried and whisper to him “I know. She knew. She loved you too. It’s ok. Shhh.”

Sam began to hum the lullaby to himself.

Neither of you got much sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger-free Summary*  
> Sam wakes up from a bad dream/memory and Five calms him down. The two revisit the conversation in chapter 2 about moving on and surviving for the ones they love. Sam talks through his anxiety by telling Five stories about Alice that he likes to remember when he is stressed. Sam slips back into another bad memory and Runner Five has to pull him back out again. They continue this cycle well into the night.
> 
> Again, I am very sorry about how heavy this chapter got, but I feel it needed to be done. The next chapter will be lighter, I promise. 
> 
> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "Take the day off, Runner Five. Take care of him. I'll handle the coms."


	8. The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Sam's dream. Things will be okay. Eventually...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “Sam, listen to me. Listen to my voice. You’re ok. It was just a dream. You’re here now. You’re here with me. It’s ok.” 
> 
> "Sam. You love me. But you were in love with her...and that’s going to take some time to recover from. "

When you woke, Sam was still fast asleep. It was the kind of sleep that only comes after extreme exhaustion. He seemed peaceful, happy even. He needed this sleep. He may have woken you with his dreams last night, but you couldn’t help but wonder how many times he had woken from fitful dreams and not dared to wake you. Or how many times before you arrived had he woken screaming…and alone. To prevent yourself from delving too far into that train of thought, you gently removed your arm from under Sam’s waist and got dressed. It was too early for anyone to be out and you still couldn’t run (even though a run would be really nice right now), but you could still walk. You started to walk the perimeter of Abel like you had during your training. The cool, crisp morning air felt good on your skin and the time alone was something hard to come across in camp, so you reveled in the moment. 

But of course, that wasn’t to last. Soon enough, Sara comes running up behind you.

“G’mornin’, Five! I see you’ve found out my secret. Get in your alone time in the early morning when it’s quiet.”

“Hi.” You said quietly back.

“What’s the matter? Jesus, you look like you’ve gone grey yourself. Didn’t get too much sleep last night, eh?” She nudged you suggestively. You let out a small smile.

“No, I didn’t get much sleep. And NO, its not for the reason you think. Sam had…well…”

“He had another dream again, didn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“How bad?”

“He woke up screaming. He tried to talk it through, but…he called me Alice. He kept talking to me as if I were her.”

“Aye. That does seem worse than normal.”

“Normal? Does he do this often?”

“No, not since you’ve been here. But before…when it happened, sometimes he would wake up half the camp with his dreams. He’s calmed down a lot since you’ve been here. I hope you know that he’s changed because of you…he’s happier. Better, I should say.”

“I just worry about him. I’ve never seen him so out of himself like that.”

“It will take time for him to adjust, just like it’s taking time for you to adjust to losing Runner Eleven. Sorry…I shouldn’t bring her up, should I?”

“No, its ok. This isn’t my first time losing a friend. Before the breakout, I-”

“It’s ok, Five. You can talk about it when you’re ready. Hold on just a sec, I need to talk to someone.” She ran of in search of whoever that was. You continued on your walk. Soon Sara came back with Janine in tow.

“I told Janine about what happened.” Said Sara.

“Are you doing ok, Five? I know he can be a little rough when this happens.” Janine inquired.

“Yeah, I’m ok. I don’t think Sam will be able to do much today though.”

“Yeah, I’d wager that. You need to be there when he wakes up. I don’t want him being alone for too long these next few days.” 

“But what about the coms? I still need to work.”

"Take the day off, Runner Five. Take care of him. I'll handle the coms."

“Thank you.” You said as you headed back toward the tower.

***

As you entered the room, Sam was beginning to stir. He groggily opened his eyes and ran his hand through his hair.

“Hey, Runner Five.” He said foggily. He sounded utterly exhausted. 

“Hey, Sam. How are you feeling?”

“I’m ok. I’m good. Honestly, I never really remember much the day after something like that happens.” That thought gave you some comfort. 

“Good. Janine said we both had the day off so you can rest.”

“I’m done resting. I want to go do something. Keep me distracted, ya know?”

“Of course.” You paused “but first, I’m going to go talk to Rajit about getting you a hot shower. You smell like sweat.” You crinkled your nose and Sam chuckled. 

“You know, it would save time and water if we-”

“Ohhh no you don’t. You know the rules. Besides, those showers are so tiny, you can’t get much done even with only one person, much less two. Nice try.”

Sam huffed and reluctantly slid out of bed. It made you happy that he seemed to be slowly getting back to his old self. 

After Sam got back from his shower, he looked healthier and he entered the room with a cheesy smile. 

“That smile can only mean one of two things. Which is it?”

“They have Oliver’s Atari hooked up. I reeeeaaally want to go play.” He bounced a little with excitement.

You sighed. “Let’s go then!”

He beamed and took your hand as you raced off toward the promise of video games.

Sam showed you all the ins and outs of the old Atari system. He had one as a kid and knew how to fix it when it was brought back to camp broken. It was amazing to see how his face lit up when he talked about something he was so passionate about. He picked out a game-you forgot the name of it-and curled up with you to show you how to play. You took the joystick in your hands and he placed his hands over yours to guide you through the motions. 

You realized quickly that you suck at this game and not even Sam's skill could help you get away from whatever pixilated blob was chasing you. You were never good at video games of any genre. That was definitely Wendy's thing. Sam was a lot like Wendy in a lot of ways. They both had this life about them that made everything better. Thinking about Wendy now wasn't sad like it had been in the past. Now, with Sam, it was...hopeful? Wow. This boy had your emotions going every which way. You hadn't noticed you had zoned out until Sam kissed your cheek. 

"Babe, you just killed your character. Ran right into the ship" 

"Sorry. You should know video games were never my thing."

“That’s why I’m here. Because I’m really good at this.” He motioned to the joystick.

You handed it over and watched as he lost himself in the tiny digital box.

Things were going to be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "I think it's time to get that cast off, Five!"


	9. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five and Sam finally are rid of their casts, which allows them to do...other activities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "Janine said we both had the day off so you can rest.”
> 
> Things were going to be ok.

"I think it's time to get that cast off, Five!"

The words you had been waiting for were finally spoken. Dr. Myers led both you and Sam to her office where she removed both your leg cast and his arm cast without complication. After some follow up exams, she allowed Sam to go back to work as normal, but you needed another training run to make sure you were fully healed. Today, you just needed to stretch and relax and tomorrow, you would do the training run around Abel. You thanked her and went on your way, back to the coms desk to help Sam clean up (like he had ever done that before).

“I hate to agree with Janine, but seriously Sam? Your desk is abysmal.”

“And I hate to disagree with you, but my desk is perfectly fine, thank you very much! Everything has a place, and I know where it is.” He snapped back. You pulled out an empty box from behind his computer that had a questionable…food(?) stain on it. You held it up and looked at him.

“Like I said. Abysmal. I’ll help you clean up. C’mon.”

Sam eventually gave in and the two of you spent the afternoon cleaning the shack and preparing for the missions of the next few days. After a few hours of cleaning (and arguing about what constituted as “clean”), you and Sam finally fell into bed, exhausted. Sam stared at you for what seemed like an unnaturally long time.

“Why are you staring at me, Sam?”

“Now that my arm is free, there’s been something I’ve been dying to do for a while now.”

“And what would that be?”

Sam cradled your face with the hand that was previously trapped in a cast and bent down to kiss you gently. His other hand lightly ran over your body, sending familiar shivers down your back. Sam pulled away and crawled down to your feet, where he began to massage your swollen ankle. There was no pain anymore, just some residual inflammation that would go away by tomorrow afternoon. Nevertheless, it felt amazing to have Sam rubbing your feet like that. Soon, you began to give Sam the same hungry look he had given you.  
“What are you looking at me for, Five?”

"Fuck it," you thought. "Let’s give Abel something to talk about." You pounced on Sam, kissing him greedily, the weeks of pent up frustration all coming together into this one glorious moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry its been a while since the last update, my friend had a baby and I was helping her through the entire (17 hour) labor and have been helping her recovery as well. No sleep for anyone! The next chapter is already almost done (I wrote it before she went into labor, oops!) so it will be up very soon. 
> 
> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “Blimey, Five. You look…I…you…wow.” 
> 
> “Were you…were you singing?”


	10. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam sets up a surprise for Five in the courtyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “I hate to agree with Janine, but seriously Sam? Your desk is abysmal.”
> 
> "Fuck it," you thought. "Let’s give Abel something to talk about."

‘Meet me at 8 in the courtyard outside the farm.’ This was what was scribbled across a slip of paper next to you on the bed when you woke up. Sam must have already gone to work. You had to get up and get ready for your post-injury training run that Dr. Myers set up for you for today. Just a quick run inside the base, just to see how you were getting along with running after getting your cast off. You checked the time. Crap. You had to leave now or you would be late. Sam let you sleep in too late. You threw on your favorite sports bra, the one that had been hidden away all these weeks, just itching to be let out again, and a pair of running shoes and headed out to the track. While it was Dr. Myers’ training session, she was busy, so she gave Sam the training script and asked him to do it. About three minutes into the session, you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“So, are you going to tell me what the note was about?”

“No way. It’ll ruin the surprise! All I can say is wear something nice if you’ve got it.”

“Very cryptic, Mr. Yao,” you flirted, “and I assume there will be a reason for the frivolity?”

“You’ll just have to see then, won’t you?”

“After last night, I didn’t think you had any surprises left in you”

“You were the one that initiated, remember? I have plenty of surprises, don’t you worry. Just be a good runner, finish your training for Dr. Myers and you will get your reward.”

You huffed and finished your run. Everything went smoothly with your ankle, which meant that tomorrow you could go back into the field. You and Sam went your separate ways to do your daily duties, anxiously awaiting tonight’s events. 

8:00 was drawing near and you were freaking out. Wear something nice? You had running gear, some jeans and a few t-shirts! You knew Sam didn’t have much in the way of formalwear either, so you enlisted the help of Runner Four. 

“Jody, I need help. Do you have anything nice to wear? I think we’re about the same size and I just need to borrow something for tonight.”

“Don’t worry, Five. I have just the thing.” Jody disappeared behind a door and soon returned with two dresses. One was a dark navy dress with a V neckline, a ruffled skirt and a beaded belt. It looked very formal and very expensive. The other dress was more casual. It was a sleeveless, knee-length A line dress with white, orange and peach pastel colors, a gold belt and a pleated skirt. I reached for it and began to put it on.

“Where did you find these dresses? They are gorgeous!” you asked Jody.

“I’ve done a few runs to the mall. There was nothing on the scanners, so I gave myself some time to wander. Shopping is so much more fun when you don’t need to buy anything.”

You laughed as you reached to loop the belt. You looked into the mirror. Looking at your frame in a dress was something so foreign to you. You hadn’t worn a dress in years. They just weren’t practical on a military base. God, you’ve missed them though. As you stared at yourself and checked the features of the dress (it had pockets, holy shit), Jody came up behind you with a pair of gold-tinted flats. They fit a little loose, but are passable. You turn to Jody and thank her profusely for saving you and head out to the courtyard. 

You were a few minutes late. Sam was standing underneath a light and waiting nervously, like you were actually going to stand him up. As you approached, Sam’s jaw loosened and his eyes glazed over. His chest heaved in like someone had just punched him in the gut. 

“Blimey, Five. You look…I…you…wow.” Sam sputtered out.

“You like it?” you asked, gesturing at the dress, “Jody helped me out. You’ve seen my clothes. I don’t have much besides sports bras and running shorts.” It was then that you noticed what he was wearing and instantly felt overdressed. Sam was wearing jeans, an old button-up that had seen better days, and…a tie? “Are you…are you wearing a tie? Where did you get a tie?” You started to move closer to him to inspect, but your flats had other ideas. They slipped off as you walked, causing you to trip and stumble. Sam lept towards you and held you to prevent you from falling to the ground. 

What happened next was straight out of a romance comedy. Sam looked into your eyes as he held your arm to help you stand. He smiled, looked toward one of the buildings and coughed pointedly. 

‘Your Song’ by Elton John began to play (somehow) over a speaker somewhere nearby. Jack and Eugene were behind this, you knew it.

“May I have this dance?” He held out his hand for you to take. Was he serious?

“Um…yes, of course” you took his hand, letting him lead you to the flat stone patch of the courtyard. You kicked off your offending shoes and began to dance with him, holding him close.

After dancing in silence for a few songs, you heard a soft muttering in your ear. You thought he was trying to say something.

“What was that?” you asked into his shoulder.

“Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

You pulled back. “Were you…were you singing?” Sam blushed.

“I might have been. Don’t worry about it.” He smiled at you and pulled you back to him. “I don’t tell you this often enough, but I love you so much. You are so beautiful. I love hearing your voice, I love talking to you, I love waking up next to you, I love the way you hold yourself with dignity even in the toughest situations. I just…I love everything about you. It is so great to know that there is someone out there that I can rely on so fully and trust with all of my being and have them return the favor. I can’t express how much you mean to me.” Sam gushed. 

“Sam…I don’t know what to say. I love you too. I’m always going to be here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You promise? You won’t go anywhere?”

“Of course.”

Sam leaned in to whisper in your ear. “Don’t go on the mission tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see what the dress and shoes look like, go here.
> 
> http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/tahari-asl-sleeveless-scoop-neck-brocade-dress?ID=2371856&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=SLEEVE_LENGTH%3DSleeveless%26SPECIAL_OCCASIONS%3DParty/Cocktail%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D370%26ruleId%3D%26slotId%3D39
> 
> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "You can't decide what I can or can't do, Sam!"
> 
> "I'm just trying to protect you!"


	11. The Mission Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam explains why going on the mission is a horrible idea. Five has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes before we begin:  
> 1\. I am so sorry for this short chapter! I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing forever, so this is all I could muster up at the moment. I am preparing to move a few states away and haven't had the time to run for inspiration. I hope you understand!  
> 2\. That being said, I have a two day car trip ahead of me, which means I will either write absolutely nothing or three full chapters. Time will tell. I can't guarantee a chapter anytime soon, but the chapter I have planned is totally kick ass so it will be worth it, I promise.  
> 3\. Thank you to everyone who has read and left kudos! You all mean the world to me! I don't usually talk to you guys in the Notes, so I will get back to what you came here for!
> 
> Previously on Zombies, Run!
> 
> “May I have this dance?” 
> 
> “Don’t go on the mission tomorrow.”

“Don’t go on the mission tomorrow. Please.” Sam begged again. 

“Why? What’s going on?”

“I just…I don’t want you to.”

"You don’t want me to? You can't decide what I can or can't do, Sam!" You say, getting a little heated at his insinuation. 

“If you go on that mission, you are going to get hurt. I know that for a fact.” Sam raises his voice a little.

“You know that for a fact, huh? What, you don’t trust me not to trip over myself again, is that it?” You begin getting defensive, your voice rising in response to Sam. 

"I'm just trying to protect you! It’s a suicide mission, and Janine knows it!” Sam exploded.

This made you stop. 

“What do you mean it’s a suicide mission? How did you get that information?”

Sam led me inside to a quiet place, out of sight of anyone else. “I’ve been chatting with people from other townships over the ROFFLEnet. The area Janine is sending you guys into is highly secretive and heavily guarded. And for good reason. The story goes that where you guys are going tomorrow is ground zero. What they have locked up in there is the first zombie, the zom that started the outbreak. It’s only a rumor, but it makes sense. Why is it so heavily guarded? Why are no townships allowed legal access? Why does nobody know anything about it? We don’t even have cameras that work out there. The coms range is questionable at best, so the team would be running blind. Running blind to the very…first…zombie.” He emphasized and whispered that last part. 

“But why would Janine send us out there if she knows all of that? Why would she send a runner out knowing they might not come back?”

“The information contained at the site may hold the key to finding a cure. Only Runner 6 knows exactly why you all are going. The rest of you are going to be told it is a supply run.”

“How do you know this?”

“I heard Janine talking to Runner 6 about it. I don’t want to put you in unnecessary danger, especially when I can’t communicate over the coms.”

“Who else is assigned to go?” a horrifying thought struck you.

“Janine said runners 4-8.”

Both Sara and Jody were going. You couldn’t let your friends go into danger alone.

“I’m going. I have to.”

“Five, please. I’m begging you. If you go, you might not come back. I’m being incredibly selfish here, but do it for me. Don’t leave me.” His voice cracked as he held both your hands in his. 

You couldn’t leave Sam. You promised him that there would never be a fifth Runner Five. But you had to help the other runners. Or at least warn them. Now that you know what you know, you couldn’t have that blood on your hands.

“I’m so sorry, Sam.” You whispered, dropping his hand and walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Zombies, Run!
> 
> "Just, please…be careful.”


End file.
